


Sanctuary

by IFuckingLoveBees



Series: Loose Ends [5]
Category: Treasure Planet (2002)
Genre: Age Difference, Alien Biology, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Crying During Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sex, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Knotting, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, Size Difference, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, semi rough sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 02:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21129275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IFuckingLoveBees/pseuds/IFuckingLoveBees
Summary: Wherein Jim does something incredibly stupid, and things just keep getting more complicated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And we're finally back to the most recent part.
> 
> All the usual warnings apply, always happy to give a breakdown if you need/want it, contact me here or on tumblr, where I have the same username. 
> 
> I don't have a schedule for the next part so no guarantees when that comes out. I'm having to write that one entirely from scratch and it's promising to be a long one with a lot of plot and emotions so, uh, bear with me. Title comes from Fall Out Boy's "Church" because I'm millennial trash. 
> 
> Also I don’t have a beta reader (again, coward; fool) so any mistakes are my own.
> 
> (PSA: Please don't take anything that isn't explicitly educational (here or anywhere else) as sex ed or sex advice, if you want to learn more you can visit this page [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25863418) where I've linked some good resources for sexual health and education. Stay safe.)

It’s cold out, Jim is bundled in his coat but it's thin and only really built for planetary weather. The winds out in the etherium are sharper and cut through the material like nothing. It’s especially bad tonight, and sitting up in the shrouds isn’t doing him any favours. Occasionally another ripple from the imploded star will sweep across the deck and hit Jim like an icy wave, and a shiver will wrack his frame before he can get himself under control. 

He winds the short length of rope around his fingers, practicing the knot that he thought he knew by muscle memory. He ties it, tugs it tight, checks the knots, then undoes it and starts over again. He’s been drilling himself for an hour now, and it’s past lights out but he can’t bring himself to go to his bunk. 

The rope is coarse, and sometime over the past hour his skin has begun to chafe and blister. 

He notices when Silver walks up next to the ropes. His presence is comforting, and Jim wants nothing more than to throw himself down from the ropes and into his arms, but he holds back. 

“Weren’t your fault, you know.” Silver murmurs, just loud enough for them both to hear. Jim chokes back a noise, fights down his tears and squeezes his eyes shut.

He starts to say something else and Jim snaps. He hurls the knotted rope as hard as he can and drops from the rigging right in front of Silver, already shouting. 

“Look, don’t you get it? I screwed up!” He’s fighting back tears as he yells, angry at himself for getting complacent, for thinking that he actually could deserve love, for forgetting how much the universe loves to build him up only to break him down again. 

“I mean for two seconds, I thought maybe I could do something right-” Jim continues. “I just-” He tries to turn away, to put distance between them and find a dark corner where nobody has to see him crying.

Silver doesn’t let him. Jim makes it all of two steps before a hand on his bicep is pulling him back and spinning him, until he’s staring at Silver who’s cupping his face in both hands and staring him dead in the eyes. 

He speaks in that tone that Jim has only ever heard when it’s just the two of them, his voice is rough with emotion and the words are so fucking full of love that Jim knows they’re both too deep in it to back out now. The tears are barely restrained by the time Silver’s done, and Jim doesn’t have his voice anymore so instead he wraps his arms around the older man’s back and clings to him like a child, desperate and scared and in way over his head. 

Silver’s hands come to rest on his back, and Jim buries his face in his shirt like it can hide him from the world.

“Don’t leave me alone.” He whispers. He’s not opposed to begging anymore, not when it so often gets him what he wants. 

They break apart and Silver places a hand on the back of Jim’s neck, guiding him towards the ship's interior. Jim feels like he’s in a trance during the walk to Silver’s cabin. He comes back to himself as the door closes and wraps his arms around his middle, suddenly nervous.

“I can’t do… that , Silver, not- not tonight.” He says. It’s terrifying, he’s never had to say no to Silver before, and he’s almost afraid the older man will choose to ignore him.

A gentle hand on his shoulder brings his eyes up. 

“I know. I didn’t bring you down here for that.” 

Jim looks questioning, and tenses up when he’s wrapped in an embrace. 

A few seconds and he melts, his hands fisting in the other man’s shirt and his eyes scrunching up with the effort of not crying. 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” The hand on his back pets through his hair and the choked gasps turn into full sobs. It makes him feel so weak, so much like a vulnerable little kid, and it gets both worse and better as Silver picks him up and walks him over to the bed. Jim’s still hiccoughing and gasping through tears as he’s sat down among the soft sheets, and he almost wails from sheer emotion when Silver pulls him close and kisses his forehead. 

His hand reaches around Jim and pulls one of the blankets up over his shoulders. Jim grips the blanket tight around himself and buries his nose in the material, letting out a shaky sigh at the familiar smell. It helps, having this small part of them to hold close, and the cold that had been in his bones eases somewhat. 

“I’ll be back soon, aye?” Silver’s hand brushes Jim’s hair back from his face, and he finally has enough control over himself back to give a watery smile. 

“Okay.” He sniffs and fights down a sigh as Silver leaves to finish his watch. 

The door closes, and Jim toes off his boots to curl up on his side. The bed is already warming from his body heat, and the chill that had been sweeping through his jacket is gone. Jim bundles himself in the blankets with a sniff and closes his eyes.

He dozes, wandering halfway between sleep and waking. It’s not restful, he’s still half awake, but having a reprieve where he doesn’t have to worry or think is enough for Jim to relax. 

He cracks open his eyes at the sound of the door, waiting for Silver’s comforting touch, but blinking when it doesn’t come. 

Sitting up, Jim holds the blanket tighter around his shoulders, unease bubbling in his gut as he stares at the door only slightly ajar.

He stands, feeling open and raw. 

“Silver?” He takes a single step towards the door, nervous, and jumps when it opens the rest of the way.

“Well, well, somebody’s been busy.” Scroop hisses. 

Jim feels his blood run cold. The fact that he’s standing fully clothed except for his boots is almost worse than if he’d been naked. At least then he could pretend that he’s not here willingly. That he’s barefoot and wrapped in a blanket feels so much more vulnerable.

He takes a step back, dying to run but knowing there’s nowhere to go. 

“What do you want?” He snaps instead. His nerves shoot up when Scroop snickers. 

“From you? Nothing. Just seems fair to warn you, cabin boy.” His eyes narrow and his mouth widens in a facsimile of a smile.

“Warn me about what?” Jim forces himself to growl over his nerves, and he bristles when Scroop hisses a laugh in response.

“He’s charming when he wants to be, isn’t he?” He says instead of answering right away. “Sly old dog could have anyone he wanted, but he picked _ you_. ” There’s disbelief in his voice, and Jim glares and follows the spider’s movements with his eyes. He’s moving around the room like a vulture circling and Jim doesn’t dare put his back to him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jim sneers. If he can keep Scroop talking long enough maybe Silver will walk in and save him from whatever the spider is planning. 

“You really think you’re the first he’s given that little speech to?” Scroop hisses as he circles around Jim.

That one hurts, and Jim reacts instinctively. 

“Fuck you.” He snarls, and Scroop just sneers another laugh.

“So defensive, boy. I’m only trying to help.” 

“Why would he do that?” Jim asks. He doesn’t believe it, obviously, but he needs to know what Scroop is trying to pull.

“You tell me, cabin boy. Why would he be interested in a scrawny little human like you?” He hisses, suddenly too close for comfort. Jim pulls back, thinking of the map and how often he’s pulled away from his chores to open it for use by the captain. 

But Silver wouldn’t do that, Jim tells himself. Silver l- cares about him. 

He doesn’t notice the slow smile that spreads over Scroop’s face, too deep in his own head. 

“Unless…” Scroop pulls the word out, giving Jim a discomforting once over.

“What?” Jim snaps and pulls the blanket tighter around himself, not liking the way the spider is looking at him. 

“Unless you really are just the insatiable little _ whore _ he says you are, then I suppose you have nothing to worry about.” He says it offhandedly, but he’s smirking.

Jim winces and doesn’t look up, he can’t. The thought of Silver bragging to the crew makes something sick roil in his belly. 

“Liar.” Jim growls, wanting desperately for it to be true and wishing he could believe it.

“Projecting, are we?” He hisses, and Jim glares. Scroop tsks at him, getting up close and sneering in his face. 

“I’d run while I still could, boy. The things he’s planning for you…” He trails off, letting Jim’s imagination run wild as the horror grows on his face. He starts circling again, but this time Jim doesn’t have the presence of mind to follow the spider with his eyes.

“Like what?” Jim grinds out between clenched teeth. He doesn’t want to hear this, and he knows, he _ knows _it’s all lies, but his hatred of being left in the dark is overriding every ounce of common sense in him. 

“The crew have heard a lot about you. He promised them a well trained little fuck toy, and here you are.” Scroop hisses it with such sadistic pleasure in his voice it makes the young man freeze.

“No, no you’re fucking lying.” He says, panic starting to edge into his voice. 

“Everyone lies, boy, especially him. Or is that just with everyone else, and he’s honest with you?” Mocking pity colors his voice and Jim wishes he had a weapon to bash Scroop’s head until he shut up. Of course Silver lies, they can’t exactly tell everyone about what they’re doing, and of course there are things neither of them talks about, like the map or the reason for the voyage, but…

Jim’s chest hurts from the force of keeping in the tears. 

“Get out.” He snarls. 

Scroop sneers a smile at him, grinning wide with his fangs glistening in the low light. It feels like admitting defeat, and Jim glares daggers as the spider backs away. 

“Do be careful, boy. I would so hate to see you get hurt.” The nasty smirk he shoots back at Jim hits like a final blow. He moves away, footfalls echoing down the hall in increasingly tinny sounds. 

The energy goes out of Jim in an instant. He collapses under the weight of his own fear, falling back onto the bed shaking and shivering and blinking back a barrage of tears. 

“Go to hell.” He whispers in the deafening silence.

He just feels worse and worse, and tries burying his face in the blanket to hide from it. The scent of Silver relaxes him, at first, but soon he starts to feel overwhelmed. It’s too much, and the thought of Scoop’s words in the older man’s voice cuts deep and keeps echoing around in his head. 

Jim can’t take it. He gasps around tears and throws the blanket back onto the bed, scrambling for his boots and just barely keeping himself from running from the room. 

He knows he’s being a coward, but he can’t bear to spend another second surrounded by Silvers presence. He flees, desperate to hide himself away. Time, he needs time to think. 

Stepping back up onto the deck stings like a knife to the chest, and Jim looks around fearfully. It’s dark, and Silver is still on watch. Jim can’t see anyone, and turns to run into the bunks to sulk, but stops dead. Because Silver is standing at the railing across from him, looking concerned and like he wants to move towards Jim.

He opens his mouth, as if to call out, and Jim flinches and turns away. He can’t bring himself to listen, and turns away without looking, descending into the bunks. 

He curls up in his hammock, eyes wet and heart aching, and cries silent tears into his sleeve.

* * *

The supernova presents an interesting opportunity for Scroop to enact his plan.

Since he caught them in the hold together he’s been waiting for the perfect moment to strike. For all their loving words, he still holds out some hope that it’s all an act on the Captain’s part. Get close enough to keep an eye on the boy, make him think it’s all genuine, then when they mutiny he can really twist the knife and it’ll be that much easier to bend him to their will.

Scroop had intended to cut the cabin boy’s line, get rid of him and any attachments that come with in one fell swoop, but with the boy relegated to tending the lifelines on deck his plan was forced to change. He was nothing if not adaptable, and took it in stride. 

He wishes he’d gone through with it anyway when he’s watching them later that night. 

The touching, the unbearably soft tone, the damned scents coming off them both as they go below decks, it’s enough to make Scroop sick. It’s clear as day now that the Captain truly is sweet on the boy, that he cares enough to put the mutiny in jeopardy. 

Damned warm bloods and their soft hearts.

The Captain moving away gives Scroop the perfect opportunity, and one he’s not about to pass up. The sight of the soft fleshed boy so vulnerable is disgusting, even more so than the thought of them rutting like common animals, but Scroop fights it down. He doesn’t have to touch the cabin boy to play manipulator, the old man’s words have proved that in spades. 

It’s almost too easy, driving them apart. The boy is so eager to please and so frightened of being used that a single nudge in any direction is enough to have him scurrying away in terror. “_Poor thing._” he thinks cruelly. Really, if the Captain doesn’t want them touching his things, he ought to keep a tighter leash on his little toy.

* * *

Jim knows, objectively, that what he’s doing is incredibly stupid.

He’s broken into a few places before. A closet at school, his mother’s liquor cabinet, his own window, on one memorable occasion when he accidentally locked himself out on the roof. He doesn’t have a lock pick, per se, but he does have a few of his mother's sturdier hair pins that slip easily into the lining of his jacket. 

Finding a time when someone isn’t watching him like a hawk is difficult, and finding a time within that where Amelia isn’t within eyeshot of her room is doubly so, but Jim is shamefully good at this sort of thing, and he knows an opening when he spots it.

The Captain is down in the ship and Jim slips up the steps to her cabin and pulls the pins out of his jacket. He fiddles with the lock just a minute before it clicks and he can dart inside and out of sight. 

Jim breathes a sigh of relief. The riskiest part of the whole endeavour is over, now he can afford to take some time. 

The lock on the cabinet holding the map is trickier, the pins are smaller and Jim struggles with it for almost ten minutes before the lock makes a small _ snkt! _ sound and the door pops open. 

The map is right where Amelia left it the last time it was used, nestled safely in the small chest with the grey cloth that had initially covered it cushioning the bottom. He pulls it out, rolls it on his palm and tests the weight. 

It’s not heavy, a little denser than a purp but light, for something made almost entirely of metal. Jim thinks again that this is incredibly, indescribably stupid, and gnaws his lower lip, looking at the door. He half wishes that the Captain would walk in, stop him and end this whole foolish crusade before it starts, but the room remains empty except for Jim, and he folds the map into it’s cloth and tucks it into his pocket without incident. 

He closes the cabinet, hoping that Amelia won’t have reason to open it, then finds a copy of the door key and sneaks out of the room, locking it behind him so as to not draw suspicion. 

If Captain Amelia notices the missing map in the next few hours, Jim hears nothing of it. Given that he’s one of only three people aware of its presence, he’s sure that he would be well aware if she did, and takes her continued silence on the matter as confirmation of his success. 

They pass out of the light of the nearest star, into a darkness meant to mimic the night and keep all the diurnal crew members from falling to pieces due to lack of sleep. Jim hasn’t slept well the past few days and is sorely tempted to put things off for a day in the interest of being well rested. 

He shakes his head and dismisses the thought. He can’t afford to delay, if the Captain notices the map is gone he’s in trouble. It’s not like he’ll get any sleep anyways, the bunks feel even colder now and even the minimal sleep he was getting before would be an improvement.

Jim palms the map in his pocket. The metal is cold, he knows from experience, but the cloth it’s wrapped in keeps his hand insulated from the chill. Walking to Silver’s room is mostly muscle memory, something Jim can do without even looking, which is good, since he can’t pull his eyes up from his boots. 

He ran, like a coward. He let words from a crew man he doesn’t trust affect him. He’s spent the last two days avoiding Silver, who’s been trying to get Jim alone long enough to talk.

Jim’s hands are shaking as he raps his knuckles on the wood. He only pulls one hand out long enough to knock before stuffing it back in his pocket. 

His shoulders are hunched up near his ears as the door opens. 

Silver is staring at him, waiting for Jim to make the first move. He feels some guilt about it, knowing that he’s the one who’s caused this rift in their relationship. 

“Hey.” Jim says, quiet and subdued. “Can I come in?” He asks. It’s a mirror of the first time Jim visited, and it’s almost funny that he’s more scared now than he was then. 

Silver allows him entry, and Jim slinks in past him, feeling very much like an animal who ran off only to be found soaked and miserable on the doorstep days later. He turns and sees Silver staring at him, worry creasing the space between his brows, and Jim swallows. The guilt rears its head again, and he takes the hand not caressing the map out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck.

Jim starts at Silver’s hand on his cheek, and takes a step away. He sees a flash of hurt and confusion on the older man’s face, and wants so desperately to lean into the touch and plead for forgiveness, but he can’t, not until he knows.

“I need to show you something,” Jim toes the floor with his boot. “and you can’t be mad at me for it.” He adds, eyes up and wide with trepidation. 

The concern on Silver’s face only grows, and Jim begs with his eyes for compliance. The tenseness in his shoulders stays even as the older man sits on the bed, eyes only on Jim.

Jim breathes out and squeezes his eyes closed. He’s nerve wracked about the whole thing, but this bit specifically is scary for him. 

“_He cares about me, he cares about me._" Jim repeats over and over in his head as he crosses the distance and stands between his knees. Silver moves carefully, almost tentative as he places his hands on Jim’s hips. 

Jim’s heart is in his throat. He’s only got the one hand in his pocket, and the way he’s moving it is drawing attention even without taking it out of his pocket. 

“What’ve you got there, Jimbo?” Silver is looking at Jim like he might have a weapon, like he might be thinking about using it.

Jim is sure his heart stops the moment he pulls the map out of his pocket. In fact, there's a moment where Jim thinks that the map has been replaced with his own still beating heart, and handing it over seems at once so much scarier and easier than it’s ever been. It’s still wrapped in it’s cloth, but the moment it’s sitting in his palm he sees Silver’s eyes widen with realization. His hands on Jim’s hips tighten to near bruising, and his mouth hangs open just slightly.

Jim is totally petrified, and still he pulls the cloth away from the metal sphere. His hands are shaking as he works his way through opening the map. It takes a few moments too long, and Jim almost fears he’s forgotten how to open the thing, but then green light is pouring out between the parting metal disks and the room is filling with constellations. 

It’s clear what this is. Even if Jim wasn’t sure that Silver would know, the fact that they’re just feet away from the brightly glowing line tracking the path of the Legacy gives away that this is not just a map, but the map. 

He doesn’t want to think about what that knowledge implies.

The silence stretches and Jim swallows loudly. He’s just about to say something when Silver’s hand cups his cheek.

He draws him in slow and presses kisses to his lips, cheeks, the bridge of his nose. Jim melts and makes a choked noise, fear and hurt coming out all at once in a sound lacking in words but filled with emotion. His hands twitch out to clutch at Silver to steady himself, and the map falls onto the floor with the sound of hollow metal. It closes, sucking the green light back into itself, but if either of them notices it there’s no acknowledgement.

“This’s what’s got you so worked up.” Silver says, thumbing away tears that Jim hadn’t noticed falling. 

Jim whimpers and flinches, but the hands on his face prevent him from going anywhere.

“I thought maybe you only wanted- or that you were… were using me, and I-” His voice breaks, and he burrows his face into Silver’s neck as an apology.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m being stupid- I just…” Jim isn’t crying, not quite, but he feels miserable and like such a petty child as he trails off. The feeling of Silver scenting the top of his head is unexpectedly pleasant, a moment of calm while Jim’s world is falling apart, and he just sighs. He’s exhausted, the paranoia and stress of the past few days is catching up with him, and Jim uses that as his excuse as he climbs onto Silver’s lap. 

The position is familiar, warm and relaxing. He settles himself closer to the older man’s knees at first, but moves closer at Silver’s hands on his back. Being able to press their chests together feels nice, and Jim drops his forehead onto Silver’s shoulder. 

He breathes out, can feel clawed fingers stroking through his hair, then breathes in, and can smell the gear oil and pipe smoke that clings to Silver’s shirt. Jim loves that scent, can never get enough of it.

“I missed this.” He murmurs. 

Silver pulls him back with a hand on his neck, stroking Jim’s cheek with his thumb.

“What happened?” He’s not demanding, doesn’t even look angry. Jim is grateful, he doesn’t think he could take an argument. 

Jim looks at the floor, still ashamed of himself. In lieu of an answer, he asks another question.

“Have you ever told anyone? About… this?” 

Silver blinks down at him, confusion battling with worry and his expression finally ending up somewhere in between.

“Not a soul.” He answers, and Jim knows that he’s being completely honest. He chews the inside of his cheek, feeling foolish now. He feels like he needs to explain himself.

“One of the crew said something… it’s stupid, I don’t know why I let it affect me.” Silver breathes evenly through his nose, too evenly.

“What did they say?” His voice is calm, but Jim still flinches. 

“I can’t-” He doesn’t want to say it. He doesn’t want the older man to think that Jim doubts him.

“James.” The use of his full name draws his attention, and he looks up again. 

“What did he say?” And looking at Silver’s face tells Jim that he knows, or at least has an inkling of who the culprit is. 

Silver strokes Jim’s face carefully, soothing him and touching the places beneath his eyes where dark lines have started to appear. Slowly Jim relaxes, his nerves fading a little.

“_Insatiable little whore_’ were the exact words, I think.” It still stings, even knowing the words aren’t true. Jim winces and his mouth twists painfully as he says them.

Silver chuffs angrily, a rumbling growl starting in his throat before dying on a sigh. He scents Jim again, and the younger man feels relief at the possessive action. 

“I shouldn’t’ve doubted you.” Jim says, apologetic and feeling very, very small. 

“You’ve had more than a fair share of hurt in your life, Jimbo” Silver sighs. “Couldn’t blame you for it ‘f I tried.”

Jim chokes and moves to pull away, overwhelmed and struggling to process, but Silver keeps him close. He doesn’t fight it, just leans in to the hand on his back and behind his neck and lets the older man support him. As much as Jim wants to hide from his anxiety and nerves, he can’t bring himself to run from it anymore. He winds his arms around the back of Silver’s neck instead, initiating a deep kiss that makes a warm wanting coil in his belly. The tongue in his mouth is slick and soft and delivers everything Jim could ever want from a kiss, and they break with a small slurp and a line of saliva connecting their mouths.

“Help me stop thinking for a while?” Jim pleads.

The older man snorts and presses his nose to Jim’s forehead, an affectionate action that is so uniquely Silver that it makes Jim smile.

“I can do that, aye.” 

He kisses the younger man again, harder. His teeth worry Jim’s bottom lip and his tongue moves in wide arcs and tiny finessing motions by turns. His hand moves between them and palms the faint erection tenting Jim’s pants, taking the moans right out of the boy’s mouth. The physical pleasure of it is building and Jim’s already beside himself with want, the two days of no contact has made him eager.

By the time they part again Jim’s mouth is red and swollen and his eyes are glassy.

“What d’ya want Jimbo?” Silver murmurs, right in the boy's ear. Jim can’t help himself, he squirms, rubbing their hard ons together and whimpering.

“I don’t wanna think. Tell me what to do, I don’t care, just-” He grunts, bucking his hips and rolling his head back to expose his throat. It’s an open invitation, and one Silver takes without coercion.

All the marks from the last time have faded by now, and Jim’s skin is just begging for more to take their place. As Silvers mouth works his hands wander, grabbing and touching and kneading, like he’s trying to memorize Jim’s body by touch alone. Jim never thought he’d enjoy being felt up, but in the moment it’s the best foreplay he’s ever had. 

Jim bites his lip and arches his back. His hands move up and his fingers dig into Silver’s hair, pulling him close and keeping his mouth to Jim’s throat. The assertive action earns Jim a sharp nip to the jaw, something that should be punishing but feels more like a reward. 

Silver’s hands rub over Jim’s chest and slide his jacket down his arms, and the younger man shucks it off without a second thought. Jim’s hands are shaking as he undoes his pants and pulls his belt from the belt loops. The sound of the leather sliding against cloth sends a shiver down his spine. The noise spurs the older man into motion again and he pushes Jim down, pinning the boy to the bed with a single hand on his chest. 

Eagerness makes Jim impatient, and he arches his hips up, begging Silver to touch him. Without his belt to hold his pants up the waistband is sliding down his thighs inch by inch, slowly revealing a line of skin around his middle beneath where his shirt is riding up. The muscles of his belly are taut and trembling as Silver slips a hand under his shirt.

He sighs, the fingertips caressing his chest tease his nipples and send his eyelashes fluttering. Jim tugs desperately at his pants, hands uncoordinated with his need and struggling to get out of his boots. 

Silver doesn’t give him any reprieve. Jim manages to pull his half hard cock out of his trousers and slide his pants down to his knees, but he doesn’t have the energy to even struggle out of his shirt, and collapses onto the bed with a whimper just as Silver leans down to ravish his throat again. The slight pressure of Silver’s teeth against his windpipe makes Jim’s cock harden even more and he has to pull his hand away to resist the urge to jerk himself off.

The older man finally takes some pity on him, helping Jim out of his shirt and leaving his eyes half lidded and his hair splayed wildly over the pillow. His mouth is swollen and open, the cupid's bow of his lips plush and inviting. He blinks, dazed but coming to again. The hand caressing his skin has stopped and the warmth of it is steady against his ribs. Jim looks up, locking eyes with Silver and losing all the breath in his lungs. He cocks one knee in a coy pose, the effect only somewhat ruined by his pants still tangled around his knees. 

Jim can’t stop shaking all of the sudden. His fingers twitch in the blankets as Silver traces a finger over his throat and collarbones. The blunt edge of his claw scraping Jim’s skin is maddening, and the boy squirms, a whine building in his throat. 

He bucks his hips up and rolls over onto his belly, face burning and breath hitching. He wants to take the older man inside him again. The last time they had sex it left Jim unable to sit properly for days, and he’s craving that ache again. The pain of it was only fleeting, and Jim wonders what it would feel like to really get fucked senseless.

Sliding his fingers into his own mouth feels obscene. He swirls his tongue and uses the spit from the far back of his throat, where it’s slicker. He can’t see the older man from the way he's lying but the feeling of a hand stroking his flank is comforting. 

Jim slides his hand all the way back until he’s pressing the pads of his fingers to his own entrance. He reminds himself to relax, takes a deep breath and flutters his eyelashes with a moan at the first push in. He’s done this before, yes, but never with anyone watching, and it’s both terrifying and deeply calming to feel Silver’s eyes on him. 

“Perfect little thing.” The older man purrs. Jim chokes at the words, just trying to focus on breathing but having to fight past his own arousal. His cock is bobbing untouched against his belly, leaking and hard and twitching every time he pushes his fingers into himself. He can feel Silver’s erection where it’s pressed to the back of his thighs, solid and identifiable even through his clothes

Being the only one undressed is starting to feel really unfair, and Jim sends a pleading look over his shoulder. 

“I wanna feel you.” He winces at how needy he sounds, but the soft rumble Silver responds with eases his nerves. 

The sound of fabric being discarded makes him shiver, and Jim actually groans aloud when Silver moves over him. The mechanical right hand snakes around his middle and pulls Jim up from the bed, pressing them flush, Jim’s back to Silver’s chest. The arm reaching behind him is trapped against his back now, and opening himself up is getting harder as the room he previously had to maneuver vanishes.

The sound of his fingers moving around his entrance makes Jim blush. He knows what he probably looks like, ass in the air and face down on the bed with Silver laying over his back, but the thoughts running through his head have nothing to do with his compromising position. 

Jim manages a glance at the floor to the side of the bed. He can see his jacket where it lays discarded on the floor, the sphere of the map reflecting the soft lamplight of the room from among the folds of cloth. There are tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Jim shakes his head to try and pull himself back, but he’s already crying. Silver chose him. He had a choice between Jim and the map, and he didn’t even hesitate. 

“I want you in me.” Jim is crying, tears flowing down his cheeks and thickening in his throat. The tears are hot even on his burning cheeks, and he keens at a brush of his fingers against the pleasure center deep in his core as the rocking of his hips hits just the right angle.

Jim only dimly feels Silver reaching back with his flesh hand, and the feeling of fingers wrapping around his wrist catches the younger man off guard. His breath hitches and he starts, making a wet whimpering sound of reluctance before Silver shushes him.

“Jus’ relax, I’ve got you.” The easy confidence in the words takes any fight out of Jim’s body. He goes limp and lets Silver pull his hand from his entrance, folding it under his chin obediently instead and waiting. 

The emotion of the moment squeezes at Jim’s chest. For the first time he has someone taking care of him, and it pulls insistently at the feelings he’s been desperately trying to hide for weeks now. Laying his head cheek down on the bed hides the tears somewhat, though there’s no doubt the older man knows he’s crying from the choked quality of his voice. 

Jim whimpers at the feeling of Silver adjusting, moving his arm to lay with the elbow just below Jim’s ribs and curling the fingers over his shoulder. It’s such a painfully intimate thing, and Jim bows his head forwards to press his lips to the finger pads as best he can. A rumbling purr echoes from the man behind him, and Jim bites down on a watery smile at a kiss placed between his shoulder blades.

The feeling of something slick and cold rolling down the cleft of his ass startles Jim a little, but it’s not long before Silver’s fingers are chasing the lube and warming it on his skin. It feels good, and the anticipation of what he knows is coming next makes Jim shudder.

A soft “ah!” escapes him as the first blunt finger massages it’s way inside. His hands are locked in a deathgrip tangled in the sheets and his chin is resting on his arms. Jim rocks his hips jerkily, his breathing is shaky and throaty and the crying mewling noises are sounding weaker by the second. 

“God, yes. Harder.” Jim whimpers as a second finger nudges at his entrance. It pushes into him roughly and Jim shakes out a second, more high pitched cry. Part of him is begging for Silver to slow down and take him gently but the louder part is screaming to fuck his brains out _ now_.

He can’t reach behind himself to help, but the feeling of the older man undoing his pants in the space between Jim’s thighs makes his muscles go lax. He bites his lip when he feels Silver’s cock being lined up to push into him, and tries to prevent himself from hyperventilating by burying his face in the bed.

The older man’s lips are right near Jim’s ear, and he rumbles comforting words over Jim’s hitching cries.

Jim just manages not to scream at the first slide in. It’s rough, an edge of pain tinting the pleasure, and it’s exactly what he needs right now. There are sobs wracking his frame and his mouth is slurring around the barely audible “please” and “more”, though what precisely he’s begging for even Jim himself isn’t sure. He’s held too tightly to move away, and Jim can do nothing but surrender.

The tears flow down his cheeks in waves and his moans are strangled but he’s feeling nothing but raw, primal pleasure. 

The thick cock pounding into him hits that perfect spot that sends shivers down his spine. His eyelids are heavy and his mouth hangs open, and drawn out moans can be heard over the dull slap of skin on skin. 

Jim can’t get a hand between the bed and himself to pump his own erection, and instead he ruts against the mattress. His hair is falling into his eyes and sweat is sticking it to his forehead. The heat is rising under his skin and panting with his tongue out seems like the only thing that helps. Jim’s chest is heaving and shaking as his eyes roll back in his skull.

The next thrust slams into Jim more brutally than any of the others and he cries out, instinct arching his back even in the limited space. Silver growls and tightens his hold on the boy like he has any intention of trying to escape, and Jim moans and pushes back into the thrusts eagerly. The hard heat rippling through his insides is making pleasure coil low in his belly, and he knows he’s close to release. 

“Fuck, I think I love you.” Jim cries, all in one breath. His voice is cracked with desperation, and he gulps as Silver pauses in kissing the nape of his neck. He hadn’t meant to say anything, the words just slipped out, and he freezes in place as an old fear response kicks in.

The thrusts slow and turn deliberate. For a moment Jim fears his accidental confession has made Silver angry, and he curses himself for leaving his pants tangled around his ankles, like that’s what’s currently preventing him from fleeing. He squirms uneasily and tenses as if to run, a fearful tremor starting up in his hands.

And then Silver’s other arm is curling around Jim’s abdomen and he’s nuzzling the space just below Jim’s ear, nipping and kissing at the flesh and scenting the boy more than he’s ever done before. He shifts, laying more of his weight over Jim’s back and pushing him into the bed more firmly, all but trapping the younger man. A sob rips from Jim’s mouth as the purring sound picks up again, right next to his ear. Relief floods his system. He’s safe in Silver’s arms, and would happily live the rest of his life in this room if it means he gets to keep feeling this. 

“Shh, shh. It’s alright. Not gonna abandon you.” Silver sounds a little choked up too, and Jim laughs something between disbelief and euphoria.

“I-I just… I- fuck.” He leaves the half formed explanation as it is. Silver knows what he means anyway, and the hand stroking the soft hairs of his cheek makes it hard to think. 

Jim bucks, twisting in Silver’s arms to lock their mouth together. The angle is awkward and it’s doubly difficult pinned as he is, but he manages. The older man is still buried to the hilt inside of him, and Jim protests weakly as he’s pushed down and Silver pulls all the way out. 

His pants are fully removed, tossed off the side of the bed carelessly. Jim is rolled onto his back and cradled in Silver’s arms, his legs are wrapped around the older man’s middle and their foreheads pressed together in a moment of mute intimacy. 

Jim sobs something between bliss and desperation as Silver finally slides back into him. The changed angle fills him up in all the best ways, and the press of their bodies together rubs teasingly against his cock where it sits up along his belly.

He groans as the pace picks up again, moving in time with Silver’s thrusting until a rhythm develops, a slow and unmistakably loving thing. He can feel the older man pressing every inch into him, his body opening up and giving access to all the soft, sensitive places that drive them both wild. Silver’s arms around his torso keep Jim in place as their rutting gets rougher, and he fists the blankets in a white knuckled grip to try and hold out for a little longer.

It’s a fruitless endeavor, but it gives Jim another few seconds before he comes, and he takes in as much as he can. The soft wet sounds of them fucking, the way Jim is tucked beneath Silver’s body, hips between the older man’s knees and safe in his arms. Silver throws out a hand to brace on the mattress, fingers digging into the blankets with a possessive growl that makes Jim whine. He untangles one hand from the sheets, wrapping his fingers around the back of Silver’s hand and holding on as if for dear life.

The fucking slows again, right as Jim is on the edge of release, but he doesn’t protest. A hiccough of pleasure breaks through what feels like his heart in his throat. Jim lets his hand be maneuvered palm up on the bed, next to his head and pressed against the blankets. 

Silver kisses him, nearly chaste but Jim moans into it all the same. Metal fingers thread through his own and he grips them with all his strength. It feels like a promise, and even as they finally break apart for air Jim can feel Silver’s nose pressed against the soft skin of his cheek.

Jim tears up again and a sob rips out of his chest. He’s never loved or trusted someone so completely, and that thought combined with the physical pleasure is what finally overwhelms him. 

He makes an open mouthed sound when he comes, right as Silver finishes inside of him. The older man switches the grip of his left hand from Jim’s back to his hip, holding him in place and fucking him through the aftershocks. 

Jim lays in his grasp, dazed and limp as a ragdoll. He’s just been fucked within an inch of his life, and relaxation finally takes over. Even sex drunk and sated though, Jim still refuses to give up his hold on Silver. His free hand is trembling and his fingers are weak, but he rubs his face on the older man’s shoulder and squeezes his hand as much as his rapidly fading strength will allow. 

“Let me stay here tonight.” His voice is weak and raspy, wrecked from screaming and moaning. He says it mostly into the older man’s shoulder, too tired to even lift his head. Silver nuzzles his cheek and nods, and Jim breaks down again into tears, but through the hiccoughing sobs he’s smiling. 

The older man finally pulls out, leaving Jim achingly empty. He lets himself be laid down gingerly without complaint. He’s still reddened from the sex flush, and the come painted over his belly and leaking out of his ass make him look debauched, like the slut the crew must think he is, but there are no words to express how much he doesn’t care. He turns his face to the side and breathes in the scent on the sheets, and barely notices when Silver swipes a cloth over his skin to clean him up. 

Goosebumps rise over Jim’s skin, a brief chill quickly chased away by Silver taking the boy into his arms again. Jim is totally spent, but he still manages an exhausted moan at the feeling of Silver scenting his neck.

It’s honestly the most relaxed Jim has ever been. Sleeping next to anyone else might have been paranoia inducing, but this is the easiest thing he’s ever done. Slowly, his breathing evens out and his eyes grow heavy as sleep takes him.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim wakes up to something chittering in his ear. 

He blinks his eyes open to see Morph cooing and rubbing on his cheek, apparently awake before the rest of the ship and ready to start the day. 

He rubs his eyes, batting the little blob away in a bid for more sleep. Silver is warm beside him, and Jim really isn’t ready to wake up yet. 

Something unexpectedly solid drops into Jim’s lap, and he jumps a little. He cracks open his eyes to see Morph, of course, looking expectantly at him. When he sits up the map rolls off his lap, and Jim is suddenly wide awake in the dim morning light.

Shit, he forgot all about the map. 

Jim tries to grab for it, but just before his hand closes on the metal Morph darts in and steals it away, excited by this new game they’re playing and with way more energy than Jim ever has in the mornings. He trills happily and dances in a tight spiral, floating out of reach before diving for the floor.

“Hey!” Jim grabs for both the blob and the map, not really caring which one he grabs and ending up with neither. Morph, still chittering and pleased with himself, darts under the bed with a gleeful noise and doesn’t come out. 

Jim follows him over, ending up with his hands braced on the floor and his head hanging over the edge of the bed to look at the tiny space underneath. It’s dark and ill defined, and there’s already a small trove of things Morph has apparently collected under there. 

“Damn it, Morph, give it back.” Jim gripes, reaching with his hand and not even getting close to where he can see a shine of bronze metal. 

“I need that.” He whines as he adjusts his hand before trying again, only gaining a few inches of reach. Morph does not appear moved by this plea, and in fact is nowhere to be seen at all. 

Jim is contemplating his other options when a hand wraps around his leg and pulls him up onto the bed again. 

“Hey!” He startles, turning over onto his back to see Silver staring bemused down at him. 

“Lose something?” He asks lightly.

Jim pouts at him, a little light headed from being upside down and still not entirely awake. 

“Morph took the map and I need to give it back to the Captain, or we’ll all be in trouble.” He says the last part loudly, sticking his head back over the side of the bed to make sure Morph can hear him. 

Silver laughs, pulling Jim back onto the bed and into his arms. 

“He’ll give it back when he gets bored.” His hand is sliding tantalizingly over the dip of Jim’s spine, and the faintly annoyed pout vanishes from the younger man's face. 

The soft light that usually indicates the dayshift hasn’t appeared yet, so Jim slides closer and lets their lips connect. The kiss is chaste at first, almost hesitant until Silver cups Jim’s cheek and the back of his head in one wide palm and licks into his mouth. It’s dirty and undeniably sexual in nature, but Jim can’t help melting at how sweet it feels. He’s naked and vulnerable in Silver’s bed, but the only thing he’s worried about is the shapeshifter in the room being forgetful. 

The kissing eventually turns to touching, hands wandering over exposed skin idly. Jim pounces impatiently, forcing Silver onto his back on the bed and climbing to straddle his lap, hands braced on his chest and breath starting to pick up with the excitement. 

Jim looks down at the web of scar tissue branching over the older man’s chest. He’s seen it before, of course, but it’s always breathtaking and he falls a little bit more in love each time. The network is vast and intricate, a myriad of different injuries overlapping and melding together over time. 

Silver’s hands are resting gently on Jim’s thighs, thumbs rubbing idly at the flesh. His eyes are soft where he gazes up at the boy perched over him, content to let Jim look his fill.

Jim swallows the lump in his throat and leans down, back bowing as he runs his tongue along the jagged edges of the scars. The bumps and ridges are smooth under his tongue and Jim lets his hands splay out over Silver’s chest. He tastes salt and sweat, and even against his hot mouth the older man’s skin is warm. 

He’s never been so close when Silver started purring, and the rumbling right next to his ear is almost startling. A warm hand cards through his hair and Jim pulls his eyes up, suddenly shy and blushing like he’s been caught doing something he’s not supposed to. 

“Sorry.” He whisper laughs, a chagrined smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He wonders if he should have asked first, if he’s stepped over a line.

Silver shakes his head at him, smiling right back and pulling Jim up by his armpits to kiss the sense out of him. The adjustment puts the tent of his pants right below Jim’s parted legs, and the younger man grinds back into his cock without hesitation.

He groans, one hand sliding over Jim’s back to grab his ass, pulling a high pitched moan from his throat and making the boy squirm. 

“You’re too sweet by far, lad. Don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He sounds breathless with want, and Jim whimpers back at him, wrapping his arms around Silver’s neck and burying his face in his shoulder. 

He rocks his hips slightly, knees finding leverage on the bed and helped by the hand still kneading his ass. 

“I can think of a few things you can do, if you’re worried about deserving me.” Jim mumbles into his shoulder. 

Silver hums, and Jim can hear his smile. 

“Can you now?” He murmurs.

Jim grins and pulls back, sitting upright and doing his best to make bedroom eyes down at the older man.

“Mmhmm.” He hums, biting his lip and rolling his hips meaningfully. 

Silver groans and Jim can feel where his cock is pressing against his ass. The older man has his pants on, the only piece of clothing between the two of them, and it’s doing little to prevent Jim from feeling him. 

He braces his hands on Silver’s chest, raising himself up and moving back down in a slow, deliberate motion. Jim lets his head fall back, gasping at the ceiling and biting back his moans. He’s not even being penetrated yet and already his dick is leaking precome onto his belly. 

“Please tell me Morph is a heavy sleeper.” Jim gasps, aware the blob is still somewhere in the room.

They both fall still and silent, and the faint sound of tiny snores can be heard from under the bed. 

“Don’t go screamin’ too loud and we’ll be fine.” Silver answers in a low voice. Jim swallows at the gravelly rumble and squeezes his eyes closed against the heat coiling in his groin.

“Good enough.” He pants, licking his fingers and soaking them in spit before sliding two into his still relaxed body. 

Jim scissors his fingers and gasps, rocking on his knees and watching Silver oil his own fingers as well. He shudders as the warm calloused hand presses up next to his own, widening his entrance with a wet sound. He pulls his hand away, a violent shiver running down his spine as Silver presses into him deeper with slow, steady pressure. 

He wriggles his hips and bears down, eyes struggling to focus at another finger sliding in as the first massages against his prostate. 

Jim swallows and bites back a wanton moan. He drops his head between his shoulders, hands falling to brace on the bed and leaving him nearly laying down, great huffing breaths panted against Silver’s chest. 

A hand curls around his shoulders and pulls him down, and Jim collapses into a kiss. He’s at just the right spot that if he tips his head back Silver can stick his tongue down the younger man’s throat, his other hand still fucking Jim open with obscene, wet sounds. 

Silver pulls away from him and looks over Jim’s shoulder, and he knows from the shuffle of fabric that he’s oiling up his cock. The preparation is barebones, and Jim knows he’s going to have to take it slowly or risk being sore later, but he doesn’t care. 

The tip pressing against his entrance makes Jim squirm. He ruts and tries to push back onto it, only to get a harsh hand on his thigh holding him still. 

Silver isn’t pressing in, instead guiding his cock right against the ring of muscle and giving a few teasing pushes before backing off again. He bites at Jim’s mouth and neck, laughing low in his throat at the frustrated noises he’s wringing from the younger man.

“Oh my god you fucking- stop teasing me and fuck me already- _ shit._” Jim hisses, annoyed and short of breath.

“You like being teased.” Silver purrs in his ear, easing the head of his cock in just enough that Jim starts to think maybe he’s finally getting what he wants. 

“Not the _point_-” Jim makes a strangled sound as Silver pulls out entirely, dragging a single fingertip around the wet rim. He bucks in the older man’s hold, fighting and grunting like a wild animal, all to no avail.

“Just fuck me, _ please _Silver.” He whines, defeated. He wraps his arms around Silver’s shoulders and whimpers into his chest, allowing his body to go lax as he begs.

Jim cries out a victorious “_yes!_” as the older man finally sinks into him. He’s not quite as loose as he needs to be, but his enthusiastic moans as he’s fucked into belay any worries the older man might have. It takes several shallow thrusts to make way, but soon enough Jim is pushing back and biting off a curse as he’s filled completely. 

“Mmn, _ fuck _yes.” He sighs, rocking on his knees to get his body accustomed to the stretch again. It feels like a little more than he can comfortably take, but the hardness and heat against his inner walls is too good to resist, and he’s not waiting any longer.

He rolls his hips and hisses through his teeth as his dick slides between their bodies. They’re flush together, Jim caught between Silver’s cock and his mouth and with hands roaming over his body. Silver purrs and palms the cheeks of the boy’s ass, kneading as the fingers dig into the soft flesh greedily. 

“Hells, you’re tight.” He mutters as he sinks his teeth into Jim’s neck, pulling a groan from him as he grinds up into that knot of nerves. There’s no helping the animal need in either of them anymore, and the relatively gentle thrusts they started with turn to slow rolls of the hips that go deep and hard, hitting perfectly every time.

Jim can tell when the older man is getting close by the way his touches turn just a little too rough. He’s close to losing himself as well, and just barely seals their lips together before liquid heat is spilling inside of him. 

That does it, and Jim comes as well, rutting his hips with a half muffled moan. His whole body goes tense one second and loose the next, brain function abandoning him in the minutes it takes for time to restart. He feels used in the best possible way. He’s loose and warm and all higher thinking is out the window, the only words drifting through his head are “_safe_” and “_good_” as he waits to cool down. 

Silver doesn’t pull out of him. His hands smooth over Jim’s sides and he breathes in his scent, but Jim gets to keep enjoying the loose limbed, sated, blissful warmth filling him up. 

His eyes are starting to drift closed when Silver goes to pull out and lay him on the bed, clearly intending on separating and cleaning up the mess. He makes to slide out of Jim carefully, only for the younger man to gasp and tense at the feeling.

A surprised moan catches Jim at an unexpected spike of heat that curls in his gut. Discomfort about his entrance being suddenly stretched wars with deep pleasure as the cock inside him seems to thicken. A haze of pleasure fogs his mind at the feeling and Jim can’t stop another moan as Silver growls and sinks back into him, deeper than before. Now that his body is on high alert he realizes the cock feeling hot and over large inside him _ isn’t _ just in his head, and if it weren’t for the sudden rush of feel good chemicals Jim knows he would be panicking right now.

“W-whats…?” His pupils are wild and dilated, and he shudders as he locks eyes with Silver, who at least seems to be in much the same position. His good eye is dark with desire but his hands are gentle where they stroke over Jim’s skin. One slides up to rest on the small of his back and the other pets his cheek, comforting.

“S’alright, lad. Just a knot.” He explains, sounding spent and voice husky with pleasure. “Haven’t had one in years, else I would’ve warned you.” He laughs, and he seems honestly just as surprised as Jim does.

Jim relaxes, shivering a little and grunting softly as the knot shifts, even with what little room inside him there is for it to move.

“It’s uh, it’s kinda big.” He says, strangled. 

A flash of worry crosses Silver’s face and he cups Jim’s cheek.

“S’it hurting?” He asks, and Jim shakes his head immediately.

“N-no, it’s-_ ah_.” He sits up and somehow the knot presses still deeper into him, grinding hard against his prostate and making his spent cock twitch too soon for comfort. 

“S’good. It’s um…” Jim swallows, face bright red as he rocks his hips gently. “It’s _ really _ good.” 

A slow smirk crosses Silver’s face, devious and leering at the boy quite literally trapped on his cock. Jim shivers again at the look, scared and aroused in equal measure.

“Ah, I see. Think you’ve got another one in you?” He asks, rubbing one finger along the bottom vein of the younger man’s dick. His eyes flash dangerously when, despite the come still cooling on their skin, it twitches eagerly.

Jim grins back at him, tired but never one to back down from a challenge. 

“Why don’t we find out?” He wheezes.

Both of the older man’s hands come down on Jim’s hips, thumbs rubbing at his hipbones and palms squeezing slightly. It’s encouragement, and Jim takes it as a yes.

Jim lets Silver guide him up, putting less than an inch between them but enough to just barely pull his cock out from where it’s buried. It’s not enough to separate them, but the stretch and the space that’s created makes Jim squeak when Silver shoves back into him. The knot only lets him move an inch or so up before he has to move back down to get some relief, but the come already moving within him and the shallow thrusts up into his body lets his slowly recovering cock start to get hard again. 

Jim whimpers weakly, biting down on his knuckles to keep from crying out in earnest. Seated upright as he is, it feels more like he’s fucking himself than anything else. He can stare down and see where Silver is guiding his movement, his own flushed cock bouncing with every downward jerk of his body and almost completely clear precome starting to bead at the tip. 

He rolls his hips up and down steadily until his thigh muscles are burning and his legs are threatening to give out, even on his knees as he is. Jim braces his hands on Silver’s chest again and uses the leverage to keep going, nearly hyperventilating as the hands guiding him start lifting and pushing him down in time.

Jim shudders and shouts as he comes again, spilling white fluid over his own chest and belly to join the cooling seed already there. Silver grunts and Jim falls onto his chest again, every muscle in his body tightening around the cock still effectively locked inside him. 

He lays there, too exhausted to even speak. Silver is breathing hard too, his heart fast but steady against Jim’s cheek while his fingers drag through the soft, sweat damp hair. 

“Great hells, lad.” He mutters, sounding amused. 

Jim groans wordlessly back at him, chilled and shivering now that the sweat is cooling on his skin. Silver pulls a blanket over him, rubbing his nose against Jim’s forehead and running his knuckles over the bumps of the boy’s ribcage.

Jim looks away, face flushing and nervous. 

“Love you.” He whispers, barely audible. His arms are tight around Silver’s shoulders, and he can’t bring himself to look the other man in the eye.

He makes a noise of surprise as Silver cups his chin and drags him into a kiss. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes but Jim refuses to let them fall. 

They break apart both smiling widely, and Jim laughs when Silver flips them so the young man is pinned to the bed. 

“Love you too.” He purrs back, butting their foreheads together and curling protectively around the smaller body. 

Jim laughs again and pulls him down for another kiss, this one chaste but filled to bursting with devotion. Neither of them are ever going to be the same again, he knows, though if it’s for better or for worse remains to be seen.

Over time the kisses ease into simply laying against one another, warm and safe and isolated from the rest of the ship. Jim curls on his side with Silver at his back, laying soft kisses along his shoulders and neck.

They both jump a little when, out of nowhere, Morph zips out from under the bed and greets them, done with his power nap and apparently in a playful mood again. He chitters and coos happily, and Jim gets the sense he noticed the distance between them the past few days. 

He sits up, cupping the pink blob in his hand and petting him, getting a shrill giggle when he hits something ticklish. 

Jim looks over his shoulder at the vague feeling he’s being watched, catching Silver staring softly at him. Jim knows having his bare back to anyone else would be anxiety inducing, but he just smiles back at Silver, hopelessly in love and seeing the same resignation in the other man’s gaze. 

Silver sits up too, rubbing his nose along the younger man’s shoulder and tracing a few of the freckles there with his hand. The warm affection makes Jim blush, and he leans over his shoulder for another kiss.

Between Morph’s presence and the slight chill drifting in, Jim finally starts to feel uncomfortable being naked. He leans over the side of the bed and retrieves his shirt, tugging it on and using the inside to wipe his chest. He’ll clean it later, Jim decides.

He let go of the shapeshifter in his hand to get up, pulling on his pants and boots without bothering to tuck in his shirt or make himself presentable. He doesn’t need to look put together to make it back to his bunk, just like he slept the night there. As such, leaving his hair messy with sleep is a better sell. He’s still only half dressed, and Jim gathers the rest of his clothes in a haphazard bundle in his arms. 

He gets on the floor to retrieve the map, reaching it with only a little straining. Morph doesn’t appear to notice, too busy getting his chin scratched by an ever indulgent Silver. Jim tucks it in his pocket before the shapeshifter can notice, keeping a hand on it to make sure it doesn’t go anywhere. 

Jim opens the door, turning back just before he slips out into the still dim hallway. 

“See you later.” He whispers to Silver, smile soft but sad at even this temporary goodbye. It feels different than all the other times they’ve parted, somehow. He doesn’t want to leave, not now, not ever.

Silver stands and crosses the room, pulling Jim back inside and running his knuckles over the soft skin of his cheek. He kisses his forehead and they both relax despite the fact that neither noticed the tension of their muscles.

He pulls away and jerks his head at the door.

“G’on, won’t be far behind.” He whispers. Jim kisses him one last time before stepping out into the hall, sneaking off in the purple light from the far off stars.

Something cold settles in his gut as he gets into his bunk unnoticed. Dread, though Jim doesn’t know why. He brushes it off as nerves about returning the map before it’s absence is noted, and tries to look convincingly like he’s been sleeping.

* * *

Silver watches the boy sneak up the stairs and out of sight. 

He sighs and shuts his eyes, leaning heavily against the door. 

He wasn’t lying, though the guilt makes him feel like he is. He really does love the boy. Maybe if he didn’t this would be easier, but it’s too late for that now. “In too deep” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Time is on his side, at least. Time before the mutiny, time before he has to tell Jim. It’s irresponsible to put it off, he knows, but every time he thinks about telling him all he can see is the hurt and betrayal in his eyes, and the cowardly part of him isn’t ready to face that. 

The crew know. The fact that Scroop saw through the front of manipulation confirms it, but Silver hopes he can convince the rest of them long enough to get Jim out of harm’s way. He doesn’t care what they do to him, as long as the boy is okay. 

He saw the look on the spider's face, as the news of Mr. Arrow’s loss was delivered. He knows Jim isn’t responsible for it, and he wishes desperately that he could tell him without also losing any trust the boy has placed in him.

He snorts a bitter laugh. Caught between a rock and a hard place, and it’s all his own fault.

The thought occurs to him again, as it has frequently in the past months, that Jim deserves better. If Silver were a better man, he would tell the boy and accept the consequences, but then, if he were a better man he wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. 

Morph, apparently sensing his distress, coos and rubs against his cheek. It helps, a little.

“What’re we gonna do?” He breathes, well aware that Morph isn’t going to answer, at least not with anything helpful. 

The shapeshifter chirrups, oblivious to Silver’s dilemma. 

He sighs again. Nothing to be done about it now, no matter the strange dread in the air.

Next time, he resolves, steeling himself for the conversation as he’s getting ready for the day. Next time he and Jim are alone, he’ll bring the lad into his confidence, help him understand. There’s nothing to guarantee the boy won’t run to the Captain, but Silver hopes he trusts him at least enough to listen first.

The dread doesn’t dissipate, even as he sends Morph to get Jim up for his chores and begins heading to the galley himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Mmm boy I do love me some dramatic foreshadowing.
> 
> I think y’all know what’s coming next.


End file.
